Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt
🎄 Christmas Cutoff: Order by Dec 10th to receive before Christmas. 🎁
May 05
May 07 - May 09
May 14 - May 19
A cult classic tee for cinephiles who know their way around a Blu-ray shelf and aren’t afraid to flaunt it. The Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt is the perfect blend of highbrow taste and lowkey chaos—tailor-made for film nerds with attitude.
Cinephile Sass Meets Minimalist Design – Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt
If your Criterion Collection has its own dedicated shelf (or room), then the Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt might just be your new uniform. Designed for fans of film who embrace both irony and indulgence, this shirt features a clean graphic of a delivery truck labeled “The Criterion Closet,” with bold black text above declaring your proud status as the biggest “slut” in the archive.
This shirt is ultra-soft, breathable, and lightweight for all-day comfort. The unisex fit makes it perfect for any film geek, whether you’re bingeing Bergman or flexing your Fellini at the local screening room. The black-on-white print is crisp and clean, matching the minimalist aesthetic beloved by Criterion devotees.
Available in sizes from S to 5XL, the Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt fits a wide range of body types and personalities. It’s pre-shrunk and machine-washable, holding its shape and graphic even after multiple rewatches—err, washes. Ideal for film festivals, library hauls, or Instagram shelfies, this shirt is more than just merch—it’s your movie-lover identity in wearable form.
Whether you’re flaunting your obsession or gifting it to the nerdiest cinephile you know, the Biggest Slut In The Criterion Closet Shirt is a must-have. It’s clever, comfortable, and guaranteed to spark conversation at your next movie night. Don’t miss your chance to show off your love for cinema’s most elite collection with a wink—order yours now and rep your film fetish in style.
How long does it take for my order to arrive?
- We need 3 - 5 business days to process your order and send it out (not including weekend and holidays)
- Your order will arrive approximately 5-7 business days after it's shipped (except wooden products). We use different shipping partners, but the final delivery is usually via USPS.
- For international orders please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery. The final delivery is usually via your local postal service.
Shipping time for 3D Printed Products:
- United shipping time: 7-14 Business days
- International Shipping time: 15-20 Business days
Shipping time for Canvas Wall Art:
Economy
- $7.99 for order price under 50$
- $9.99 for order price over 50$ and under 100$
- $14.99 for order price over 10$ and under 200$
- Free shipping for order price over 200$
Ground
- $16.95 for order price under 49$
- $21.95 for order price over 50$ and under 69$
- $29.95 for order price over 70$ and under 139$
- $49.95 for order price over 140$
2 Day
- $24.95 for order price under 49$
- $34.95 for order price over 50$ and under 69$
- $49.95 for order price over 70$ and under 139$
- $79.95 for order price over 140$
Overnight
- $49.95 for order price under 49$
- $59.95 for order price over 50$ and under 69$
- $89.95 for order price over 70$ and under 139$
- $139.95 for order price over 140$
Here’s how we break down our shipping prices:
- $7.99 for order price under $49.99
- $9.99 for orders from $50 to $99.99
- $14.99 for orders from $100 to $199.99
- Free Shipping for orders over $200
- $9.99 for an order price under $49.99
- $14.99 for orders from $50 to $99.99
- $16.99 for orders from $100 to $199.99
- $18.99 for orders from $200 to $399.99
- Free ship for orders over $400
